Can skeptics grow spiritually?
Now more than ever, former evangelicals are deconstructing their faith.
According to separate studies by Lifeway and NPR, we are learning that those deconstructing the faith of their childhood are abandoning traditional expressions of the church. In reality, the two are intrinsically linked together. Once Christians, now doubters, are aware that places of worship in the West teach the very doctrines that they have deconstructed. And that is why Doubters’ Clubs need to continue to be launched across the world. Not to convert everyone to the same way of thinking; but to get people who are thinking differently to pursue truth with one another. Where deconstructionists and spiritual architects alike can come together to build their lives on truth, while being completely honest about where they are in the process. In fact, you may be reading this thinking to yourself, “yes, that’s me!” And if it is you, keep reading.
Do you want to grow spiritually, but you don’t like the whole church thing?
Do you want emotional and intellectual honesty and maturity without seemingly subjective morality?
Do you want community without dogmatic certainty?
Do you want truth and authenticity without being exiled for thinking differently?
These longings aren’t reasons to be concerned. If anything, having an appetite for growth, honesty, community, truth and authenticity are all indicators that you are more healthy than you were before. You aren’t satisfied with the diet of fundamentalist Christianity. Your soul is hungry for something more fulfilling. And in Jesus’ words, "You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.” (Matt. 5:6, MSG)
Picture three boxes. The first is order, the second is disorder, the third is reorder. The Doubters’ Club community (both online and in-person) is for the second and third box. And if your heart echoes the words of Paul Ricoeur’s when he said, “Beyond the desert of criticism we wish to be called again,” here are three ways you hear more clearly your call to spiritual joy.
Acknowledge how far you have come by acknowledging where you used to be, theologically.
Don’t be narcissistic about it, but you have come a long way! The natural tendency is to get frustrated with people who think like you used to think. Don’t get frustrated. Instead, use this as an opportunity to be grateful that you have owned your worldview, and that you dig deeper when encountering massive contradictions and oppressive narratives. Remember when Jesus said we shouldn’t point out the speck in our brother’s eye? I believe that applies to the spiritually mature as well. And if you consider the super-conservative-fundamentalist to be your enemy, there are some clear instructions on how we should treat our enemies. No matter how you spin it, frustration isn’t the right response. Be grateful that your theology no longer rests on how you interpret Genesis 1.
2. Admit where you are by distinguishing between deconstructionist and deconversion.
I sometimes wonder if we have lumped together two very distinguishable categories- the deconstructionist and the deconvert. There is quite a difference! If you are a deconstructionist, you are questioning the Bible and its claims in order to make sense of an all-loving God. At your core, you still believe that Love made the world and love is the order that the world is missing. Deconstructionists are fierce about loving others well, and highly suspicious of systems and religions that don’t practice such love. This is why they are the once to challenge the violence of the Old Testament, current reactions to the LGBTQ+ movement, not wearing face masks, etc. On the other hand, if you are going through a deconversion you are answering questions of origin, morality, purpose, and destiny through a purely materialist’s worldview. The motive for deconversion is often to sink the Christian ship by pointing out all its fallacies and shortcomings. Those going through a deconversion don’t long for spiritual awakenings or spiritual experiences. The long for spiritual separation.
Where do you land? Or maybe a better question is, where are you in the vast land of spirituality? Just like any map, it’s impossible to get where you need to be without acknowledging where you are.
3. Anchors over answers moving forward.
We usually get caught up in the specifics. The specifics of rules feel bias and the specifics of interpretations feel conflicting (to say the least). You name it and it really feels like the devil is in the details. Moving forward, try using the imagery of an anchor. Anchors have to sink into the massive ocean floor to hold a ship steady when it’s in the middle of a storm. Instead of specific answers, are there anchors you can use when encountering questions and doubts?
Eventually, you will have to answer the particulars. But that’s not where you start rebuilding. There’s no point in painting the walls when the walls aren’t there yet! Come to grips with big concepts in order to drill down the details later.
You are being called to joy again in your journey. It’s going to look different this time. This time around, you will have to learn how to be the deep thinker in a Christianity that is a mile wide and an inch deep. But you weren’t called to the kiddy pool. This time around, you will be swimming with those who are drowning. Your journey is a gift.